Energy Budget 101: How to Stop Going Broke on Draining People: How to Stop Going Broke on People Who Drain You Let me take you back to the moment I realized I was energetically broke. Not financially, no. I still had a roof, a job, bills paid—but I was bankrupt in spirit. I was overdrafting on favors, loans of time, and emotional investments that were never returned. My cup was empty, but I kept pouring. It started with the silence.
Not the peaceful kind you get when the kids are asleep and the house is clean. No, this was the thick kind—the kind that creeps in when life forces you to stop. Mine came during a period of isolation I didn’t choose. Or maybe I did. Spirit has a way of guiding us into rooms where the only voice left is our own.
I was exhausted. Not from doing too much—but from doing too much for the wrong people. I’d built a resume of caretaking, peacemaking, over-giving. My identity was tied to how much I could give others, not how much I could hold for myself. That’s when the shift happened. I started to track where my energy was going.
I treated it like money. If I wouldn’t spend $100 on someone, why was I giving them 100% of my emotional bandwidth? Why was I letting people overdraft my peace account while I sat up overdrawing my eyes from crying? See, energy budgeting is real. And just like financial budgeting, it requires honesty. So I did an audit.
The Energy Budget Audit: Learning Where You Leak
I wrote down names. Family. Friends. Coworkers. Lovers. Anyone who had access to me. Next to each name, I wrote what I gave them—time, advice, support, listening ear, space. Then I wrote what I got in return.
That exercise was the wake-up call. My energy field was full of holes. People came to dump, not to pour. I was the neighborhood therapist, crisis manager, ATM for vibes. But where was my refill? Isolation gave me that.
I stopped answering the phone. Stopped showing up where my spirit didn’t feel welcome. I let the texts pile up. And in the silence, I heard myself for the first time.
I didn’t realize how loud everyone else’s needs had become in my mind. Their voices, their pain, their expectations. I was drowning in noise. But when it got quiet? I met the version of me that had been waiting. The version that had boundaries. The version that rested and I felt finally safe within myself for the first time.
Tool 1: The Self-Check-In
Every morning, I asked myself: “How am I feeling today, really?” Not just surface-level. I got real. Was I tired? Was I anxious? Was I feeling used? And if the answer wasn’t peace, I didn’t engage. I gave myself permission to withdraw.
Checking in with yourself is a practice. You don’t just ask once. You ask often. You get curious. And you treat the answers like gospel.
Tool 2: The People Energy Budget
Just like you wouldn’t give every friend your bank PIN, you can’t give everyone unlimited access to your spirit. I categorized people:
- Depositors: People who pour into me.
- Neutral: People who don’t take much or give much.
- Withdrawers: People who leave me feeling depleted.
And I adjusted accordingly. Less time for withdrawers. More time for depositors. Zero guilt.
Tool 3: The Emotional Spending Limit
I set an emotional budget. Some days I had more to give. Some days I had nothing. And I started honoring that.
If I had 30 emotional dollars today, I wasn’t going to spend 25 on a phone call that left me drained. I saved my emotional currency for things that fed me back: journaling, dancing, tea in silence, a walk, prayer. And the biggest shift? I learned to stop apologizing for it.
Isolation Isn’t Loneliness—It’s Sacred Space
People confuse isolation with abandonment. But let me be clear: Choosing yourself isn’t selfish. It’s spiritual. In that quiet season, I healed parts of me I didn’t know were bleeding. I finally asked myself: Why did I think I had to earn love by being available? Why was silence so uncomfortable for me? Why did I equate being alone with being unworthy?
The answer: I had never been taught how to sit with myself. That isolation showed me that my energy is sacred. That presence is a privilege. And that not everyone deserves access to the sanctuary that is me.
Tool 4: Build Your Inner Sanctuary
I made my space holy. Candles. Soft music. Plants. Affirmations on the wall. I treated my home like a temple, because I was becoming one. I stopped letting chaos live in my phone, in my inbox, in my day-to-day. And once I cultivated peace, I became protective of it.
Tool 5: The Goodbye Letter
I wrote letters I never sent. To the people who drained me. I poured out the grief, the guilt, the anger. And then I released them.
Closure doesn’t need a conversation. Sometimes it’s an energy shift. You can love people and still choose not to bankrupt your soul for them.
Energy Budgeting Is a Love Language
When you start budgeting your energy, you teach people how to treat you. You say: I am not your emergency exit. I am not your trash can. I am not your emotional piggy bank. I am a full human being with limits, needs, and sacred boundaries.
And when you move like that, the right people rise. The ones who pour back. The ones who respect your no. The ones who value your yes. So if you’re tired of going broke on people who drain you, this is your permission slip.
Withdraw. Sit still. Audit your soul. You don’t have to bleed to prove your love. You don’t have to burn to keep others warm. You just have to decide you’re worthy of keeping your peace.
Now That You Know How to Protect Your Energy… Let’s Talk About Restoring It.
You’ve done the work to protect your energy—now it’s time to restore it. These Amazon picks are practical tools I use to reset, recharge, and take care of myself when life feels heavy.
🛁 Dr Teal’s Epsom Salt – Detox Your Body, Clear Your Energy
When your body is tense and your energy feels off, this is my go-to. Dr Teal’s Epsom Salt helps relax muscles, reduce stress, and pull negative energy out through the skin. A 20-minute soak in this and you’ll feel lighter—physically, emotionally, and energetically.
🍵 Yogi Tea Stress Relief & Herbal Variety Sampler – 6-Pack (96 Bags)
This caffeine-free, organic tea sampler is designed to help you unwind and recharge. Featuring six soothing blends—including Bedtime, Kava Stress Relief, and Soothing Caramel Bedtime—each tea is crafted with Ayurvedic herbs like chamomile, lavender, and ashwagandha to promote relaxation and ease tension. Ideal for winding down after a hectic day or preparing for restful sleep.
🕯️ Essential Oil Diffuser – Turn Your Space Into a Healing Zone
This isn’t just about scent—it’s about shifting your entire energy. Whether you’re dealing with anxiety, burnout, or just need a moment to breathe, this diffuser sets the tone. Add a few drops of lavender to calm your nerves, eucalyptus to clear your mind, or citrus to lift your mood. Use it during your morning routine, journaling, or while you sleep. Your space should work for your peace—this makes sure it does.
👉 Grab the Essential Oil Diffuser that keeps my energy in check
🛏️ Weighted Blanket – Calm Your Body, Soothe Your Mind
This is more than a blanket—it’s therapy in a layer. When anxiety creeps in, this weighted blanket activates deep pressure stimulation, signaling your body to relax and your nervous system to calm down. Whether you’re struggling to sleep, feeling overwhelmed, or just need comfort after a long day, this blanket helps you feel grounded, safe, and emotionally reset. It’s like being hugged without saying a word.
👉 Wrap yourself in the weighted blanket that helps me breathe
📘 How to Calm Your Anxiety – Reset Your Mind, Body, and Spirit
This isn’t just a book—it’s your personal reset button. If you’re stuck in survival mode, mentally drained, or overwhelmed by nonstop thoughts, this guide gives you real tools to quiet the chaos. Inside, you’ll learn how to regulate your nervous system, create emotional balance, and build routines that support peace—not pressure. It’s everything I wish I had when I felt like I was barely holding it together.✨ Subscribe now and get the Calm Your Mind Checklist free
Plus, you’ll get weekly tools, mindset tips, and healing practices straight to your inbox.
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✨ Subscribe now and get the Calm Your Mind Checklist free
Plus, you’ll get weekly tools, mindset tips, and healing practices straight to your inbox.
👉 Start your reset and protect your peace today.
If this story resonated with you, you’re not alone. Visit SelfCareCentralBlog.com for more healing tools, journal prompts, and support. It’s time to patch the holes, reclaim your energy, and start spending yourself wisely. You are the bank. Protect the vault.
🛍️ Don’t forget to check out the best picks in the shop and visit the blog page for more tips, healing guides, and stories that speak to exactly where you are.
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